However, I don’t create emotive art exploring my various pains because I’m an artist. I don’t put my psychological messes up there for the highest bidder and I certainly don’t think of them as commercial - but my works frequently explore my issues because thats what comes out when I paint. I don’t paint for others, I always paint for myself first and it actually helps when I get something out there - it’s therapy. my most psychological works are never for sale because I hate the idea of putting my pain on sale. plus they are a symbol to me of what I can achieve with my art. I paint my joys as well as my traumas, all the highs and lows are there- it may not always be apparent, but every work has a meaning to me.

I write about my feelings and my works here as a record. not just to show people who I am and what I do, so that they know bout my art and me as an artist, but also for my own memory. it’s wonderful to go back over posts and find out what I was thinking when I created certain works. it helps to have it all out there.

My view is that shit happens to everyone, and you can use it as an excuse, or you can use it to drive you on to be a more complete person. I have no interest in boring people about my past “traumas”. It’s the past. It’s part of who I am. The only thing that matters is the future, and who I want to be.

I know that on dA I have removed people from my watchlist because they insist on updating all and sundry “bitpeople” with the ongoing saga of their life. That’s lovely for them, but I put them on watch because I like what they create.

My real world friends know the lengths I go to to help people out. At this point of my life, I pretty much don’t bother with helping anyone who isn’t prepared to help themselves. It may seem cynical or overly harsh to some, but I would far rather assist someone who does stuff in spite of their problems instead of using it as some form of emotional blackmail to get me to do what they aren’t even prepared to lift a finger to do what they can.

Secondly, the best way to be a victim is to act like one. It’s dead simple. It’s as easy as, when walking in a bad district, making sure it looks like you’re on a mission and you know exactly where you’re going, and where you’re going is just up the street, even if you’re hopelessly lost and clueless. I know from personal experience that it works in South central LA during the race riots following the Rodney King beating, the seediest parts of Newark and on Bourbon St when alcohol fueled fools are trying to run rampant. It’s often an act to appear confident, but oft-times you wind up actually believing your own act, and you become confident.