I have been concerned about reconciling my work to the art world. Currently hyperrealism is in and my personal style doesn’t mesh with that. Having worked so hard to develop my personal style I don’t want to surrender it in an effort to maximize my marketability. I can paint photorealism but I prefer the style…

This is a hard post for me to write but I need the cathartic release. I have been simmering on this for quite a while now and I need to get it out or I will burst. At the moment, as you all know, I am embroiled in legal battles with the TAC, I am…

I obviously spent all my jammy points getting the permit… I cant have too much luck all in one place can i? obviously the balance needs to be maintained so in a marvellous stroke of bad luck, our oven just died. the oven I am basing most of Christmas dinner around. the oven I had,…

I am being graded harder on this folio and I should be thrilled to get such a great mark.Damn my overachieving hide. its the same thing with clothing sizes.meh, its probably PMS.Anyway, I am resting, christmas shopping and marketing all at once…. when I can further my career, update my website and choose cool presents from the relaitve comfort of my couch, things are good.

well today was doctor day as I went to two mandated TAC reviews…. at least this time I was not a piece of meat to be passed around and judged. they were much better and while it was uncomfortable and hard physically it was all for the best.Then of course I saw my doctors who are very cool.

between the internet, foxtel and phone and the multiple moronic telstra people I had to deal with I am about ready to cry!the plan was that the foxtel guy would install the port for the internet at the same time as the foxtel port…. I spent over an hour on the day being shunted between departments while they all told me that they couldn’t issue the work order, and no he cant do that kind of work and why would someone tell me he could?… but at least I have a net connection!then there was the phone line.the previous owners installed an optus port and spack fillered over the old telstra port.

it would probably be better if I didn’t have a lot of the house packed up.. then I could find better implements…I know it is supposed to be out of our comfort zones but sheesh.okok I was actually doing well until I found out that I needed a completely different subject, I was working off the wrong excersise.erg…. and about ten tries.I am going to have a scotch and go to bed now.

I had a horrible dream last night where everywhere i turned everyone was telling of to in back to project management and to give up my dreams of being an artist- that i would make more money and be more secure…. I met an artist there who was telling of that that is what he did because art never made him money…. Well this dream was obviously an expression of my self doubt as well as my fears of what some people think- i say f*** them!

My works were realist and portraiture based but with a concession to the wankyness that we were expected to secrete in massive gobbets.Is talent necessary to the arts anymore?… And critics seem to lap it up!I am not saying that all pieces where paint has been thrown on a canvas are done by no talent hacks, Jackson Pollock was a paint splasher and there is evidence of composition and planning in his pieces (I haven’t studied him extensively though)…. I am, however, bagging the people who think that they can succeed in an art career by assaulting canvasses with their lack of talent.I look at some pieces and think, I could do that, and I could – I just don’t want to!am I maintaining an idealized view of art?