Embrace – Watercolor on Paper by Jennie Rosenbaum

I am a little late with this as I have been so busy with the exhibition and appointments last week but here are my thoughts on the new year. I have given up deciding whether a year is going to be good or bad- it just is what it is. usually full of both.

this year a lot is changing. in just over 2 months I will have a newborn baby to take care of. I am anticipating this with both thrills and terror as is completely normal. I can’t wait to meet the little person who has been kicking me so much I have been admitted, finally, to a pain management clinic. this is going to be a long slow process but I am hopeful it will bring a new start and new possibilities to my life. I will have my husband home with me for a while while we adjust to these new and exciting changes to our lives. it’s wonderful to have him here, he’s a constant source of support and strength and I’m glad we will both have the chance to bond with the baby together.

Artistically my goals are simple.

I want to stop judging myself. every time I think that I get an image of the Simpsons ‘stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself’ and that is what I am doing every day. my fear of failure and my pre-judging everything is stopping me from being the artist I want to be. I don’t get into the studio because I’m afraid the work won’t be good enough. I don’t apply for things because I fear I’m not good enough. I don’t do enough because of that fear.

I’m a terrible judge of my own work so I am going to stop letting my judgement and my pre-judgement get in the way all the time. I started noticing the pattern and the problem at the end of last year. now that I have identified it I can move on and past it and that is my goal this year.

I will:

• get into the studio and just paint with no fear, without heeding the dark voices in my head or the worry about inspiration. I will just glory in the joy of painting and let others judge.
• stop letting myself fear opportunities. if I want to do it then I deserve to apply. I didn’t think I’d get into this latest exhibition but I did.
• say no to the lesser opportunities that I don’t really want to do. i will focus on what will be best for my career, not on putting extra lines on the CV.
• make use of my facebook page more, send out a newsletter more often and write in this blog more. the new post scheduling capabilities make this a snap so I am going to do it. and stop fearing unknown reprisals!
• try to get to a gallery at least once a month. at least just to look and enjoy other people’s art.