the paintings that never were..

one of my many visual diary sketches...

I sit in my studio, around me are images that have been painstakingly posed and rendered, they are all inspiring in different ways. in my mind I can see how each one will turn out. this one will be a watercolor, that one is begging to be an oil painting. I might try experimenting with that one and try something new. each piece unfolds in my brain, each stroke, each layer.

The future ramifications of each piece start to click together. marketing ideas, where I might want to list them, the collectors that might be interested, the people who might not like them. whether I want to build on a series of works like this, where I would show them, how they would be presented. How I would write about each individual piece. it’s keywords, it’s marketing phrases and copy. how I might feel while creating it and what I will say in my blog. If it is a particularly emotive piece I think about the different reactions it might bring up in others, and in myself.

In effect each painting is done before I start. I want to paint them, I can’t wait to touch brush to that beautiful white surface.

But now I’ve sat or stood for too long. the spontaneity is gone and the pain is wearing on me. I can’t stand or sit for too long without feeling too much pain. I know I will be called on for feeding soon and I’m beginning to worry that I might be too dizzy. I don’t want to faint again.

and those paintings that are waiting to be sometimes never get a chance. this is something I need to work on. Over-thinking is one of my worst stumbling blocks. it stands in my way every time I go to do anything. It isn’t just painting, it’s everything I do.

Do you overthink things? how do you overcome it?

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