Something about a new haircut makes me muse, I’m not sure why exactly.
This year I made a decision which I am working very hard to stick to. Last year was the year of accepting my disability, the pain and the lack of mobility. This year is the year of moving on with my life. Its more or less permanent- I am still working hard on it to make it less rather than more, but I have accepted it and it is now part of my life – I am working with it rather than against it. This was a very necessary step to my recovery and mental state. By refusing to let it change who I am and integrating it into my life I am ready to move on.
This year my decision was that I needed to step into the new person, ready and waiting. I am necessarily slightly different, but for the things that I can no longer do I am working out ways to achieve what I want rather than giving up. I am regaining my social life and making time to do the things I love, even if I have to enjoy them in a different way now. Mostly I have found my friends to be very helpful and encouraging in all of this and I thank you all very much for your understanding and patience!
This week and last week, I have felt myself particularly unfolding from my chrysalis. I am becoming that new person. Disabled, but not letting it ruin my life or change who I am. I have been preparing for an SCA trip that I wasn’t sure I would be able to attend. It will involve camping and rather than moping about not being able, we looked at ways to cater for my needs while enjoying the trip! as a result I am looking forward to it immensely. I have a sexy new haircut and color where the Hairdresser worked with me to ensure I had enough time to take regular breaks so I didn’t get sore.
These all seem like superficial examples but what they are are symbols of the new person I am becoming and the new peace I am finding within myself. I am working hard to take care of myself with a new pain management program starting soon, and I am trying not to put myself down so much. I am taking care of my health and am actually starting to become a well rounded individual. – and they said it would never happen!
2 thoughts on “Reflections”
It sounds like it won’t be easy – but congratulations on taking steps forward
Posted by Suzanne at 0:22 Wednesday May 6, 2006
Hi Jennie (aka Minxie!)
I love reading your journal. I find it to be inspirational. Big or small, I think we all go through challenges everyday. It’s so easy to get stuck with the negative “self-talk” – i now try to be concious of it and become aware when I’m doing it. It’s usually after the fact, after I’ve beaten myself up over something. But slowly, if you’re aware of it, I think it becomes easier to deal with.
Take care, I will be checking up on this journal regularly! =)
Posted by Jasmine at 0:16 Friday May 8, 2006