I don’t know what else to call it. I have been painting every night and it has generally been going well up until Thursday night. You see I have had a painting in my mind that has been torturing me, It wants to get out. the first time I tried to do it I gave up after several goes and did a different piece (the one that now appears on the invite). This was a satisfying outcome, a way to turn a frustration around and a good way to move on from a piece that was refusing to evolve.
I tried the piece again on Thursday night. I tried it about five times before I had a meltdown and left it for the night. then I scrubbed the canvas the next day and tried again. to no avail! so I started a different painting on the same canvas (seeking the same success I had last time) and ended up with quite a lukewarm piece.
The techniques I am using are designed for speed as I can’t stand for long. they have evolved around my abilities and they are quite cool- enjoyable and flexible. The issue is that it is easy to scrub out a piece and start again. I work wet so that I have a large amount of flexibility in the creation of a piece. Sometimes I wonder if I am too quick to remove a piece or the germ of an idea without giving it a proper chance. It is already apparent that I have no ability to judge my own work, as evidenced by the fact that my most successful pieces are not the ones I feel comfortable in. I think my original version of this piece was probably the best, but I scrubbed it in a fit of pique.
So, how can I fix this? I think I have to let go of my fear of wasting canvas and let each version sit. give myself some time between creating it and judging it, at least until the next day. I need to do this, afterall, the piece that ended up on the invite was on the scratch out list – and that would have been a shame. I hated it the night I did it, then I slept on it, looked at it the next day, worked out what it needed, did it and now I find it very compelling.
I wonder how many other artists have a problem judging their own work?