perfectionism adjustment

Release 12x12 Oils on Canvas
Release – Oils on Canvas by Jennie Rosenbaum

I think the key to overcoming a block is to just go into the studio and paint. the trick is that you have to surrender to the possibility of creating crap. this is something I’ve been warring with internally for months now. this may have been one of my longest blocks yet. I could create ideas, I could sketch, but I couldn’t seem to create paintings. this happens to me quite a bit. often it is followed by a surge in creativity and an upgrade in skills. however, these days as a professional I don’t have the luxury of just waiting for it to come back to me in it’s own time. I have to create. I have to produce. I am also a perfectionist so every piece must be the very best I can do and an improvement on the last. anything less than an improvement is seen by me as a failure. and I don’t like to fail, it’s be perfect or don’t do it at all.

this is an attitude that needs adjusting.

I’ve been increasingly aware of my own anxieties about perfection and failure. I have also been learning the key life lesson that I have to make mistakes in order to grow. that my need for perfection and completion is holding me back from my dreams and goals. this probably seems stupidly obvious to most of you, but for me it’s been a real struggle to comprehend- and it’s something that has to come from within. one of these stupid things that everyone can tell you but you still have to work it out for yourself.

so last night I couldn’t sleep. I decided to hit the studio, see if a different time slot could shake things up a little. I am reassured that at the moment I am experimenting with volumetric lighting and that experimentation necessitates mistakes. this is a good way for me to move forward and hopefully progress beyond this block.

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