Have you ever felt like you have been forced into a mold? And the more you keep working in the mold the more you feel you belong?
It has come to my attention that, although I am an excellent project manager I was not happy or doing what I really want. Being crippled has really helped me work out a number of things, my girlfriend Ally says it sounds like I have been on a meditation retreat (she went on a 10 day one with non stop meditation, celibacy and silence – a big ask for her but she did it and got a lot out of it! – I am impressed because there is no way I could).
There should be a way for me to integrate my artistic skills and creativity with my project management skills and love of earning money. I think there should be something, maybe I will find more out as I study. I am so looking forward to it. I have actually been repressing the artist inside me and it broke out violently yesterday as I saw the magnificence of lights and shadows again. I never realized how much I tried to make myself into someone I’m really not supposed to be. I did enjoy my job but I had a lot of depression and undue stress and anxiety. I ended up in therapy and almost had another breakdown, all of this should have pointed me in the right direction but I guess you need to hit me over the head with a car before I get a point ! 😛
anyway, now I am in a period of discovery and we will see what happens, hopefully when I am all better I will find something that works for everything. or my new web idea will take off…. There’s always hope.