Ugly by Jennie Rosenbaum
It’s been a bizarre week, starting last week when I received a call from local news show today tonight. it seems they are doing a story on a condition I have and are interested in how I have used my artwork to help me through it. I have spent the entire week panicking, alternatively walking on air or terrified and depressed over the whole matter.
The interview was on Monday and I felt it went well but I still have a pervading sense of worry. The topic is Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Now, some of you are aware that I have this and some don’t know. it’s something I usually keep secret because it’s a fairly neurotic side of me that I want to keep hidden. well, it’s out there now! the funny thing is that it’s a condition that makes you want to hide away and now I’ve talked about it candidly in a very public forum. I couldn’t be more terrified. My mother will immediately come back telling me to stop being so dramatic and the only reason I feel fat is because I am fat.. I can hear her now. a lot of people won’t understand, they will think it’s all an attention grab or melodrama. I guess what I want to say in my my own private forum is that it is real, and it’s bloody awful to go through. Now I can hear some of you thinking, if she is so worried how come she let it out there? My confidence to do this came from knowing that my art will be shown on TV. while I was terrified but it was too good a career opportunity to pass up. I started out thinking about it in terms of my art and career but I think that this interview actually was good for me as well. it made me look hard at myself and my issues while trying to describe BDD. it also helped me look at my art a different way which is always good!
I will post here when the show airs.