Spinning 24×24 Mixed Media on Canvas by Jennie Rosenbaum
sorry for my lack of posting. I’ve been meaning to update you all on the new paintings I’ve been doing, the news from this show and other shows and all the little bits that go into making an exhibition work. the problem is, that I fear that a lot of that stuff is only exciting to me and possibly a couple of other artists. I’ve been working like crazy on this, trying to get it all done and ready on time. I’ve been working so hard in fact that my husband is threatening to take away my computer. which only means that I will probably work more in the studio until i drop from exhaustion. which is happening a lot at the moment. I’m stressed, panicky, asocial, cranky and regularly mutter under my breath. I can’t sleep, eat or relax. and so, of course I hide away from things like blogging which is a form of communicating with the outside world.
I reassure myself that it will be better when it’s over, then I have the depression to contend with and finally the rest before ramping up to the next one. the good news is, that I am not alone. almost every artist I’ve ever heard on the subject is the same. I think it comes from a fear of putting ourselves out there. our works are so intensely personal that it is ourselves hanging on the wall, ready to be judged. and yet we crave the attention, we want our works seen, we want the collection to be viewed together. so we panic and stress and worry, then the absence of that stress and panic and this thing that we’ve thrown ourselves into is over all too fast and we crash. and the fact is, we thrive on it! it’s one of those stupid artist things that make no sense. it’s exhilarating, it gets the blood pumping and the brain churning faster than ever. creativity spikes and ideas come fast and furious. better one crowded hour of life…
One thought on “Trials and Tribulations”
Hang in there Jennie. You’re on the uphill part of the rollercoaster right now, stressed about what happens after you reach the top and the ride really begins. And what a ride it is!
You’re gonna have a ball racing down the track but probably won’t remember a lot of it afterwards, it will be sensory overload. That’s what darling hubby’s are for, to tell you all about it later.
As an artist you will always worry that your work just isn’t good enough and will need public affirmation. The affirmation is your reward for your efforts. Roller coaster.
Do yourself a favor, create only for yourself and don’t be concerned about what others think. Easier said than done, I know, but it’s the route to sanity.
Do you paint to make money or do you paint to express yourself? They may not be compatible situations. I think you paint for yourself, and others appreciate it and find their own meaning in your work. Don’t lose track of that idea. Paint for yourself and the hell with them. If they like it and buy it, fine. If they don’t, even better. You can continue to enjoy it or give it to someone who loves it but can’t afford.
If you just want money, do porn. Yeah, right.
Stick in there, persevere, you’re good at that. Most of all, keep working. For yourself, and for us. We love ya, kid. – Steve