friday nude quotes

The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can`t just say it`s pictures of people naked. For example, you have these primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot, and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal saying goes: “N`wam k`honi soit qui mali,” which means, “If you think you can catch a wildebeest in this climate and wear clothes at the same time, then I have some beach front property in the desert region of Northern Mali that you may be interested in.”

So it`s not considered pornographic when National Geographic publishes color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest naked, or pounding one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason naked, or whatever. But if National Geographic were to publish an article entitled “The Girls of the California Junior College System Hunt the Wildebeest Naked,” some people would call it pornography. But others would not. And still others, such as the Spectacular Rev. Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked.

Dave Barry

4 thoughts on “friday nude quotes

  1. I respect Mr. Barry’s work very much, he’s a dead serious writer that never minces words and always gives us the straight dope on vitally important topics.

    I feel obligated though, to point out that “N`wam k`honi soit qui mali,” atually translates to north EASTERN Mali. I thought everyone knew that!

    Also, it should be noted that wildebeasts usually DO wear clothes, like most animals. They’re just paid to get naked by National Geographic for the tittilating value of the filming.

    Every boy in the world has learned female and animal anatomy from N.G.’s pictures of naked people and animals. But any farm kid will tell you that the cows and such always get dressed first thing in the morning. It’s Nature’s way.

    After all, if God had intended us to be naked, we would have been born that way… 😉 Steve

  2. Rofl Steve! your comments always leave me in stitches! I love Dave Barry, Dad introduced me to him and ever since I have been a fan, i couldn’t resist this quote with all the recent censorship debacles going on. of course if it were here there would be committees and political figures going on about exploiting wildebeest and letting wildebeest be wildebeest and so on.

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