revisionist historian

Ennui
Ennui

I get ideas all the time.

ideas for paintings, blog posts, tweets, thankyou letters, exhibitions, concepts, installations, companies, the future.. my backbrain is always churning, always creating, always coming up with new ideas.

the problem is my forebrain. my forebrain gets involved and starts editing all these ideas. it puts the t in can. and the more I think about them the more I think people don’t want to read this, see this, think about that.. what if they don’t like it, what if they don’t like me, what if, what if whatif?

and I talk myself out of all these great ideas that I should be all fired up about. sometimes it’s just a small thing but sometimes it’s a lifechanger.

and sometimes, like right now, I have so many ideas that I can’t actually process them. I want to write blog posts – I really do! but I have so many ideas, so many things going on that I just can’t seem to get going. I start, then get waylaid by other things. and the revisionist historian kicks in and edits the writing before it even starts. I’m standing in front of a metaphorical, full to bursting, wardrobe thinking ‘but I have nothing to wear!’

I’m currently working on some new paintings, a commission, planning my first art fair exhibit, and the Daz platinum club members sale is on. I also have to finish our taxes, plan our next house move, plan my new studio, take care of Erica and try not to collapse. that’s the gist of things at the moment.

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