a rock and a hard place

Ova - 24x30 acrylic and gesso on canvas
Ova – 24×30 acrylic and gesso on canvas

I’ve been moping around, feeling sick, feeling tired and sore and blocked. the sick, tired and sore part is due to being pregnant and it has taken a toll on my being able to work for decent periods of time. I’ve also been lacking inspiration and drive. these are the more disturbing factors. I realized today as I went over my financial year records and taxes what some of my problem may be. I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. I promote quite a lot online, I get my work out there, I network, I paint and I do everything “right” except that everything is a dichotomy.

the galleries don’t want you if you sell online – but they want a consistent seller

they don’t know you exist unless you promote – but if you promote too much you are a threat

galleries in australia don’t want to touch nudes – but they are what is in my heart to paint and creating without passion is pointless.

I know that representation isn’t necessarily the answer, that many self representing artists are very successful. but most of the artists I know who self represent and earn a decent wage have had gallery assistance in the past to hold shows, meet collectors and build their networks.

so I have been torn, my subject matter is too contentious for the market I live in, my self promotion may be too much, too little, and I think I am losing sight of my goals. I have to spend so much time on the business side of my art that it is taking over – then I procrastinate and nothing gets done.

but I’m sick of moping – it’s time to suck it up. so I’m going back to a routine. it doesn’t seem very free wheeling and artistic but it does work for me. the project management side of the brain approves of time allocated to do everything. everything in it’s place. OCD? no, why do you ask? so I am going to step up my hunt for galleries in australia and elsewhere. I’m going to stop being afraid of approaching them and worried about making mistakes. I am going to force myself to paint even when I’m tired and sick and sore (I’m always sore, may as well get used to it) and more importantly even when what I am producing sucks. because I’m a perfectionist and don’t allow myself to make mistakes- and making mistakes is important to the creation of art.

so there. </whinge>

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