I have had a hard time thinking up my word to represent this year, it’s a challenge every year to find something that will drive me further in my art and as a person. Something that will help propel me through the year and give me comfort during the tough times.
I wanted something simple, something classic that could have meaning in multiple aspects of my life. I’m hoping that this year I might confront one of my biggest challenges to moving forward. I am a great thinker of things, I have ideas and concepts galore, I make goals and plans but I am not always the best at seeing them through to the end. I talk myself out of a lot, I lose confidence in my vision, I get distracted by other ideas and shiny things. My pain gets in the way. All these things are challenges for me and I will not overcome every one of them, but I will never know unless I act.
Act on impulse, act on my ideas, act on that lead that looks promising, act on that inspiration. See where things lead, experiment, try. Try even if I know it won’t lead anywhere.
Act is also part of action. I exercise a lot. I walk, I swim, I do things, but I also spend a lot of time in bed and in pain. I want to try to make it into different rooms more often and walk in different places, swim in different places and enjoy the scenery more. Last year we discovered how fun it could be to be a tourist in your home town, to do festivals and conventions and go out to fun touristy places. To live and have fun and I want to continue that.
Act is a part of activist, and I want to continue challenging the patriarchy and toxic masculinity, I want to continue to challenge racism when I see it and act out against hate.
I want to attend more events even when it hurts, I want to get out of my comfort zone and act on my impulses to sing. I want to create the work in my heart, not just the art I think people will like. I want to act out against the negative voices in my head that hold me back.
“And I’m not throwing away my shot.” (Also Hamilton)